Tatiana Khodakova
What are the basic resources that underlie attractiveness? Let’s put aside the material aspects and the level of professionalism for now (of course, all this also makes a person attractive) and start with the aspect of EXTERNAL attractiveness.
In the very first moments of acquaintance, appearance plays a big role, but … if we take the overall percentage of success in being attractive, then APPEARANCE takes up only 5-7%!
Mass media, of course, try to focus on how to dress, what facial features to have, etc. for marketing purposes, but this is secondary!
And what is PRIMARY in a person’s ATTRACTIVENESS?
COMMUNICATION ABILITY
Communication skills and understanding that communication always has a PURPOSE!
The times when you need to please just like that, just in case — suddenly it will come in handy, are already in the past.
What is to be liked? This means that a person inexplicably FEELS COMFORTABLE, CALM, CONFIDENT WITH YOU, feels STABLE and BALANCED next to you. You will be called a pleasant person, knowledgeable, competent, because they will feel good next to you.
So, ATTRACTIVENESS is:
✅️ HOW you LOOK
This has nothing to do with the imposed canons of “beauty”. This is about HOW NATURALLY you look. Natural is how relaxed and calm you are, how graceful your movements are (graceful means natural! UNNATURAL means tense).
When you are natural and relaxed, you thus become ATTRACTIVE as a person giving a message about their calmness. Calmness, relaxation, balance are always appreciated.
✅️ HOW DO YOU SOUND
What does your voice sound like? Does it have natural vocal vibrations? Your sound, which you transmit to a person, is both your voice and your breathing. Your breathing is read at an unconscious level and conveys information about your state through how easily and freely you breathe.
✅️ SENSATIONS from your BODY
What sensation do you create through a handshake, hugs, touches? These are sensations from your body!
✅️ SMELL AND TASTE
The smell that comes from you affects attractiveness. Therefore, the perfume industry is a successful and rich industry, as it produces attractive smells.
Taste is when it comes to kissing, and when you taste food and drinks with another person. You create an attractive impression of yourself with the help of the taste that your partner perceives. Therefore, it is important to be aware of WHAT and HOW you taste in the presence of other people.
All of the above creates EMOTION — emotion as an integral IMPRESSION about you!
What emotion do you create in another person during the interaction? All people create impressions about themselves, but often these processes are uncontrollable. Many do not think about what emotion they CREATE in other people, and therefore do not control their attractiveness.
How ATTRACTIVE you will be to another person is determined by the state that arises in him next to you.
Take care of this state first of all!
Photo by Vitaliy Shevchenko
Translated by Maria Zayats
Read also:
Relationships through the prism of personal history
Татьяна Ходакова
Практический психолог
Интегративный подход
