Tatiana Khodakova
Perhaps you have noticed that many important events in a person’s life — decisions, meetings, gifts of fate, and acquaintances — happen by chance. Reflect on your own life and, in your view, what has happened by chance. Perhaps you happened to meet someone by chance, and that person later played a significant role in your fate. Perhaps you didn’t know the answer to a question when you took the exam, and then happened to answer it correctly. Perhaps you made a decision by chance, made a choice by accident, or spoke words by chance that positively influenced the course of events.
Do you think that such moments of chance are manifestations of psychological or magical phenomena?
In fact, they are psychological phenomena, and therefore they can be managed successfully.
“Luck chooses those who are ready for it“, said Louis Pasteur (the French microbiologist and chemist). How should we understand this phrase? An event occurs that sometimes could not have been foreseen, its appearance in reality cannot be controlled, yet it happens. It happens as if by chance. And one person, who is prepared to perceive, accept, and pay attention to this event, will make the best use of this randomness, while another, unprepared, will not notice this chance, will not be able to understand or imagine how to take advantage of this opportunity.
Scientific thinking tells us that we cannot directly shape future events. By studying psychology, we come to understand what we can influence and what lies beyond our control. Chance itself — a random event, a confluence of circumstances, the will of luck—these are phenomena of the external world. And the phenomenon of the inner world is our readiness to perceive and, most importantly, to make proper use of the random opportunity that the external world provides.
As for observations, in this matter chance helps only the “prepared mind”, writes the same Louis Pasteur. What is the essence of preparedness from the perspective of modern practical psychology? To have a “prepared mind”, one must develop attention and mindfulness within oneself. To develop one’s attention and mindfulness, the first thing to do when a random event occurs is to notice it, without immediately rushing to interpretation. Then ask yourself:
“What is happening to me right now: how do my mind, body, emotions, feelings, and sensations respond to this event?” This question is aimed at developing mindfulness.
As Milton H. Erickson would say, “trust your unconscious” — direct your attention to the deep feelings, emotions, sensations, and states that this event has triggered. “What is happening to me right now?” This question implies the deepest trust in your intuition, in your feelings, emotions, and states. This means you completely trust your inner energetic radars. People often say: “feel with your heart, not with your head”. In situations of random events, we do not rely on conscious reflection. Chance is instantaneous: it can be missed, and it may slip away, dissolving into this boundless space, while your soul, your feelings, and your attention will never miss an opportunity.
The second question you need to ask yourself: “What is the meaning of this random event? What does it mean for me personally, for other people, for the world around us, for the universe?“
When you have answered the second question, ask yourself the main one: “How does this incident help me?“
And this is where cognitive work — reflection — may begin. It is precisely at this moment that an important thought may suddenly flash by; in other words, an insight may occur at this stage.
What benefit do I get from this event? By recognizing the meaning of the event, you establish a personal connection with yourself: “How could this be useful to me? What higher power guided this event or this person, this coincidence, to help me?”
And the final question: “What exactly can I do right now to make use of this moment?“
It’s not enough for the event to happen — it’s important to seize this moment, this fortunate turn of events, this will of chance. For example, you could make contact with the person, start a conversation, or suggest exchanging contact information, etc.
When we cultivate mindfulness, we become able to notice the occurrence of a favorable confluence of circumstances, grasp the deeper meaning of the moment, and use it for the benefit of ourselves, other people, and the world at large!
Translated by Maria Zayats
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What really leads us to the desired result?
Татьяна Ходакова
Практический психолог
Интегративный подход
