Tatiana Khodakova
“We cannot change what we are not aware of; upon becoming aware, we can no longer avoid changing”
“Become the best version of yourself!” What do you feel when you hear this call? Honestly!
This phrase inherently implies that who you are now is some sort of “bad” or “insufficient” version. And you urgently need to do something about this “defective” self to finally become the “best version”.
Such, often unconscious, perception leads either to sabotaging any attempts at change or to the neurosis of achievement — the constant need to improve oneself, which consequently results in a perpetual dissatisfaction with oneself.
So, what is this “best version”? How can we befriend it without falling into an endless race of self-improvement?
Rethinking the Concept: A Set of Characteristics
Let’s define the concept of “version of yourself”.
Your current version of yourself is neither bad nor good. It is not an evaluative category but rather a set of characteristics that includes your mental and physical state:
- By mental state, we mean the thoughts you most often think, the topics you discuss, and the beliefs that guide your actions and choices.
- By physical state, we imply not only your current health but also the actions (habits) that you perform day in and day out.
It is these mental and physical states, together, that manifest in your life: your income, the quality of your relationships, your energy level, and overall life satisfaction — all of this is a direct consequence of the version of yourself that exists now.
Honest Analysis of Point A
Your Point A (current reality) is not a random coincidence, but a precise reflection of your inner characteristics.
Many tend to consider their current results as a random confluence of circumstances. However, your life is a mirror that reflects your mental and physical code. If you are convinced that “happiness comes hard”, or if your daily actions do not align with your chosen goals, you are not “accidentally” in this situation: you are exactly where your consistent daily choices have led you.
An honest analysis of Point A requires you to let go of the search for external blame and to acknowledge: right now, you are where your current program (version of yourself) has led you.
Alignment: Where the Inner World Meets Outer Reality
The key point in transitioning to your “Best Version” is achieving alignment between your inner content and your external actions.
YOU CANNOT WANT POINT B WHILE CONTINUING TO LIVE BY THE SCRIPT OF POINT A
If you want to become wealthier but continue to discuss and complain daily about low wages and high prices, you will not improve anything. Your words and focus of attention reinforce the belief in lack.
If you aspire to have trustful relationships but talk about how untrustworthy everyone is, you will not achieve them. Your mental code will broadcast distrust, pushing partners away.
Only when your inner content and outer manifestations become a unified whole will you begin to see how your reality changes. In other words, you cannot say one thing and expect another. It is essential to align your thoughts, words, and actions.
Biochemistry of Resistance: Chemical Dependency on Emotions
On the path to alignment, a powerful barrier awaits you — the chemistry of your body. If you have lived in anxiety or dissatisfaction for years, your body has become dependent on the corresponding hormones (like cortisol).
When you begin to think and act differently, aligning with your “best version”, your body feels a chemical deficiency, which manifests as internal resistance or an overwhelming desire to revert to old reactions. Overcoming this chemical threshold requires not just willpower but also awareness and persistence.
Practice of Awareness: Entering the Desired Reality
Right now, become aware of how you want to live. Enter into the sensations, into the state where you have what you desire.
In this new, desired state, ask yourself:
- What thoughts do you think then?
- What daily habits have you adopted?
- What do you talk about?
- How do you take care of your body?
- How do you react to the world?
Your task is to start living this way now. Here are some techniques for reprogramming.
Technique “Stop Word” (Mental Code): Catch a negative thought from Point A, tell yourself “Stop!” and immediately replace it with a supportive belief of your best version.
The 5-Minute Rule (Physical Code): To overcome inertia and chemical resistance, promise yourself to work on an important task for just 5 minutes. This creates micro-success and trains discipline.
Anchor of Success (Body Chemistry): Choose a physical gesture (like squeezing your fingers) and perform it at moments when you feel confidence or joy. Over time, this anchor will help you instantly evoke the desired positive state.
Alignment, Not Perfection
The best version of yourself is not a final destination nor a never-ending race for perfection. It is primarily about realizing the kind of life you truly want to live (you, not the fashion trends). Secondly, it’s about aligning your:
- Thoughts and feelings
- Words and actions
When your inner code and daily habits harmoniously work towards the desired state, you are the Best Version of Yourself.
THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF IS NOT WHO YOU WILL BECOME, BUT WHO YOU DECIDE TO BE IN EVERY PRESENT MOMENT
Photo by Олег Мороз
Translated by Maria Zayats
Read also:
A reality, where there is no fear
The Art of Letting Go of Control
Татьяна Ходакова
Практический психолог
Интегративный подход
